Perturbations in the dessert course: 1. Recipes have all been burned 2. Cookbooks are narratives about interesting lives 3. One half cup of dog food, never eaten 4. Shoes don't fit, feet do 5. Lemon meringue skies are a sallow sign 6. Breathe deep if the air is good 7. Don't measure, ever, anything 8. Commas are deceivers, trust no one First, find your number. Second, define your terms. Third, fail to turn in the homework that you diligently completed. Fifth, number your chickens before they hatch. Head up stairs, but never put your foot down. That's where the candy is.