Sitting in Readiness

let me go
don't let it go
i'd like to leave
can i stay?
forthrightness asserts
a concealed entry
in the account book
of desire:
debit the motivation
credit to the reservations
is it standing up
to the light
in the ways that
i lay down
in the dark
it's hard to tell
what the word
inscrutable means;
too many syllables
for my limited seams
torn apart
or unspun thread
either way
i'd like a map
to get out of my head