You might be a relativist if you can look at a map and see that there are places that you are currently not sitting; Stand at the back of a room and you’re filled with the sense that you are more than your sight’s hearing, considering that the sounds you make go far beyond the walls; Heaven is a metaphor for omniscience, as is every simile like a god of something, the legal guardian of commas adding a period on top to make sure the little one gets its point across.