Dear Sir or Madam,
Together, we could take advantage of gerrymandering and geographically apportioned political power. With a few hundred brewers, yoga teachers, and coffee roasters (in addition to pre-paid home mortgage deposits and a little marketing) our Super PAC (or whatever legal form gets the job done) will help New Yorkers, San Franciscans, and other rent-suffering urbanites find new homes with wide open spaces and super-powerful votes. State houses, senators, and other elected officials will be retired come election days to come. You and I could do the marketing and operations to make all this happen, undoing decades of work that had assumed that people wouldn’t move fast enough to make the lines drawn work against themselves. We could probably get things rolling by this upcoming midterm. Everyone’s working from home now, so we’ll temporarily fill the pay gap left by the geographically pegged wages and bring the highest of Internet speeds to all these rural places (and still come in under-budget). Maybe the property we buy and revitalize and partly own going forward will even rise in value (we know it will). Then this is not only a political statement, but also an investment. Doesn’t that speak to the way you made your money? No, don’t tell me how. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that we’re in this together. Call me and let’s get started.
Sincerely, Jerry Meander
Roman Ryan 