Category Archives: Writing

A person emerged from a chaotic society. Emerged was the way Z saw it, rather than the traditional divergence. With both eyes on the unpredictable world, Z did not see distinctions. When the people around commented that something unusually bad was happening, Z commented that something normal and neutral was happening. Attempting to erase all distinctions in order to not see distinctions. Not quite the way of nature, Z didn’t see things as connected or distinct from each other. Z didn’t see things. Z’s eyes functioned in the traditional way. But Z didn’t observe images. Z saw a chunk that was itself. The chunk was not a Cartesian time-space map. In fact, what Z saw can only be described in terms of what it was not, as language was built for distinctions. Z experienced events, in that Z could be observed having experiences as events occurred. But Z did not distinguish one moment from another, so an “event” could not “occur”; Z lacked beginnings and endings. Not seeing and seeing is the same for Z as not experiencing and experiencing. Life and death could not make sense to Z. Z didn’t remember anything, because nothing ever broke off to become a distinct memory, it was all happening and not happening, not being recorded while being constantly observed. Z did not have opinions; or rather Z became every opinion exposed and its opposite and its lack and its gradients. Z did not value anything and did not see anything worthless or worth less than anything else. Z was not meant to be taken at the spoken word or gesture. Every word and gesture added up to nothing, was divided by everything. Z was a human, but not human. Z was confident and knew nothing, anxious and feared nothing. Z lived life to the letter and in defiance of all societies’ laws. Z was a song, a silence. Literature, a bulleted list. Z was porous and inscrutable. Past tense and before time. Z developed practices and disavowed rituals. Z countered every identification with a riddle that led to a muddle; birds became fish became numbers became vile acts became marketing materials. Z didn’t claim anything. Z could not be free or enter into contracts, not because of a state of being that prevented these states and actions, but from their impossibility behind eyes without distinction. Z was a model for no one, a way to imitate. Z was a particle and a wave at precisely the same time, observers be damned. Z went beyond reasoning, beyond comprehension, to a place that was not a place, and stayed while leaving.