Free vs. Will

it turns out that willing things to happen
is to become a prisoner of those desires
that trying to force it
is the same as giving it up
that being deliberate
is the opposite of free
what is it to be free, then?
and why is free will the opposite of an oxymoron?
because freedom is not wanting, it is being
not having, but grasping, but without closing the hand
freedom is the loosest bond between I and i
while willing is the assertion:
I, therefore something