Get Good, Get Famous, Get Monies

Have you read the Protestant Survival Guide?
Written by that Weber guy, without the grill
Pronunciation, it says that you're supposed to
Conquer the world with the sweat off your
Boots and then buy straps to tie yourself to
A billboard, advertising your sexuality to
Whoever will pay you the most, and then
Put it on the Internet after you have the
Lies and a video tape, measured to the
Nearest second, then you'll go straight
To heaven and never die.