when too long has gone without a physical discomfort the body forgets what the straining feeling is and a double reminder leads to the crispest insight for the soggiest mind; a beverage or two too many leads to a cave where the fire can only be seen in the shadow, tied up and lying down it becomes transparent: my body is futile, as far as plans go brutalized, as far as permanence is concerned and willing to go no farther than i could throw me